When we ask for forgiveness we must repent which means to turn away from the very thing we are sorry for… When we feel sorry for something we have done, we should continue to turn away from it until it is no longer a part of our lives. This takes time, but eventually we will find ourselves doing the things we do not like to do less; and one day, when we least expect it, we will wake up a little more mature.
Asking for forgiveness is mature, but what happens when we are waiting for a true “I am sorry” from someone who has wronged us? Well, the answer is I don’t know!! But I write this blog to remind ourselves of one IMPORTANT truth…
Everything we do and everything we say, the next generation of children are listening and watching. They become us. My children are adopted and the things they do and say ARE ME! They are little sarcastic communicators with a slice of humor. Sometimes they run from the things that are me… like yelling. My son who recently turned 18 on March 14th told me that he really cannot focus when I yell at him; therefore, I have tried so hard to yell less. To repent and turn away from yelling is hard and to ask for forgiveness when I do yell is harder.
Although our kids learn so much from us, we cannot take any glory for who they become. They are going to become who they are meant to be. They learn from us, yes, but they have choices too. We need to be mindful of what we are teaching them in the everyday moments. We are all so afraid of Big Brother, Alexa, or our iPhone listening to us or watching us, but are we afraid of the next generation of children listening to and watching everything we do?
We are the people who go before us. We spend our lives mimicking the older generation, but sometimes we spend our lives running so far away from everything that was our upbringing. What are your children doing? Are they mimicking you or running from everything that is you?
Last night my son called me at 11:18 at night when I was dead asleep. “Hey mom you sleeping?” he said. “Ya, honey. What’s up?” I said.. “Ummm, well my friend is having a really hard time…” he said as I assumed he was going to ask to stay out later. Then I remembered I had already told him that he could stay overnight with his friend; therefore, I said “Ohh…tell me more…” He said, “Mom can you talk to him? He needs some advice…”
THEY ARE WATCHING US, listening to us, and hearing us EVEN if we do not believe it.
Are we showing our children how to connect or disconnect from us, friends, and the world? Are we showing them that they are always right and never needing forgiveness? Are we showing them how to ask for forgiveness and how to forgive?
Forgiveness does not happen one time. It happens over and over again while we are in relationship with each other. Forgiveness does not happen while we are mindlessly saying, “I’m sorry I offended you!” Forgiveness happens when we are truly sorry for hurting others and truly turn away from our old ways.